


I'll Always Love You, Chloe

by pf_lz



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Beca is Catholic, F/F, Not A Happy Ending, Poor Chloe, and in love with Chloe, but also gay, heart breaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 14:08:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15196439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pf_lz/pseuds/pf_lz
Summary: Beca has Catholic Guilt, and Chloe bears the brunt of it.In sum, an angsty drabble and an unhappy ending.





	I'll Always Love You, Chloe

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for this, but the idea popped in my head and I had to get it out.

The door to Beca’s room opened, and Chloe walked in, a very confused look on her face. “Becs? You wanted to talk to me?”

Beca looked up from her laptop and let out a deep breath, “Yeah Chlo.” She let out another stuttering breath. “I… I’m… We need to talk.” Beca placed a hand next to her on the bed and patted it softly, inviting Chloe to sit and face her.

Chloe pulled her knees up towards her chest, exerting an uncharacteristic nervous energy. Beca _never_ asked to talk, and it made her scared about what she wanted to talk about. “What did you want to, uh, talk about?”

Beca swallowed deeply. “I want you to… to know that I love you and stuff, dude. Like I love you a lot Chloe. And I think I always will.” Beca could see Chloe’s knees knock together, scared about what was to come next. Chloe already knew she loved her, more than life itself, and it tore Beca apart so much to see Chloe so nervous, especially because she knew it was going to get way worse.

“I guess I never told you that I was religious or anything,” Beca continued. “I knew it was a touchy subject with you, so I just let it be, I guess. I don’t know, maybe I’m just a coward.” She paused to raise her eyes and check on Chloe, having moved them to the bedspread to avoid Chloe’s gaze and pain. It seemed like Chloe knew this was conversation was going to forever fracture their relationship, and Beca ached for Chloe. She wanted to take her in her arms and hold her, something she’d never had the chance to do. “I think that you know that I’m… that I’m, well, gay.”

She saw Chloe nod hesitantly. “But that’s not what this is about,” Chloe trailed off, voice raspy with tears.

Beca nodded. “Right. I grew up Catholic and when my parents divorced,” Beca said, “I divorced myself from the church. And I found out I was gay. It was a _hard_ time in my life. Dealing with a newfound sexuality and moving houses every weekend.” She grabbed for Chloe’s hand in comfort, and when she felt Chloe move away from her, she pulled her hand back, rejected. It shouldn’t surprise her. It didn’t. But it _hurt._ Chloe had been the one constant in her life since she moved to Barden, her one source of comfort. And she was alienating her. She was willfully destroying Chloe. Beca hated herself for it.

“Chloe, do you know the Catholic church’s teaching on homosexuality?” Chloe shook her head _no_ unevenly, sniffling hard. “Basically, being gay isn’t bad. Like I can have my gay feelings, and it’s not a sin. But I can’t act on them. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“But that’s so unfair!” Chloe finally blurted out. “You should be able to love who you want to love!” She made another large sniffle before calming down slightly.

“And I do. I just can’t act on them.” Beca fiercely rubbed a tear away that had seeped from her left eye. “But life is unfair,” Beca continued, answering Chloe’s first point. “So many people have chosen chastity, Chloe. Why can’t I? I prayed about it and thought about it and… and it’s the right thing for me. They say love is sacrifice and so I’m sacrificing love for love.” Beca finished her ramble, now openly crying.

“Why Beca? Why are you leaving?” Chloe wailed, near hysteric at this point, face pressed in tight to her knees, voice muffled by her clothes.

“I’m not. I’ll still be here. Just… different. Changed. I’ll still love you, okay? Okay, Chloe?”

Chloe nodded slowly, mournfully. She slipped off the bed, stood up and walked to the door. She paused in the doorway, tear tracks covering her face, took a look at the mess Beca had become, her fists pressing into her eyes, unsuccessfully trying to stop her own tears. Chloe knew she should say something, let Beca know she understood, but she couldn’t. The pain was too real. She turned around and walked out of the door, sobs still wracking her small frame.


End file.
